Where do we go from here?

My last life blog got me thinking more what next. Well that's the million dollar question isn't it? There's thing that I wish would have turned out different, like my gypsy rose I really hurt that girl and I think about her almost every day . But I knew from
The onset I was toxic for her she was a ray of sunshine and I was an abysmal abyss of self loathing trying to put as much alcohol and pot in me as could be consumed before I blacked out in utter oblivion silencing the voices in my soul telling me to destroy that which I found beautiful or genuine in any way. And before I could hurt I dumped her with a rather beautiful poem and I think it broke her heart. But no more than mine, I didn't sleep with her and I didn't touch her except for a kiss, and in that kiss I felt a desire for somthing that i couldnt give at that time " more" and it killed me to let such a beautiful thing go but if you love it set it free kept reverberating in my head. In this I hope that life finds her better than she would have been with me.

There are Things in this life we can't control. Taxes, death, and pain in the ass
Neighbors. I in my extensive traveling of these united states which is as of
Now over 2 million miles and counting. From as little as 2 mnths until 32 yr mark. Iv had a
Few epiphanies such as, the only thing in life that is irrefutably consistent is that it will eventually end. It sucks but it's a fact that we as yet cannot escape. Another is that now matter how hard we try we are and will always be at the mercy of our own self imposed ignorance. I would like to say there are a few things that can control this though one is to learn and adapt to our surroundings and Learn to be more understanding and forget our ignorance and move forward.